Where is my mind?

I have such an urge to cry because I need to get it all out but I can’t cry anymore. I’ve felt far too much pain in my life so I can’t get myself to cry with little things anymore. It’s such a terrible feeling.

So, I just watched this cute, oh so typically romantic video of this guy proposing to his girlfriend. And as cute as that is, and part of me wanted my proposal to be that romantic, I still think I have one of the all time best engagement stories. It was something out of a comedy. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

So, for those who don’t know me, I’ve been with my now fiancee Britney for that past almost 5 years now, with some major bumps in the road because let’s face it we’re human and it happens to the best of us. For those who actually do know me, you know this already and you might know this story already. But here it goes.

Let’s start at the beginning of this whole engagement. I had this planned for a while. My orginal idea was to go see her for our anniversary in August, she lives in Las Vegas for those who didn’t know, and I was going to take her out for dinner and propose to her then. But due to just life being unlucky I couldn’t make it there for our anniversary so instead of proposing to her and showing her how serious I am about being with her, I instead tattooed the Batman symbol on my ring finger because she’s a huge Batman fan and she’s my own personal super hero but I’ll spare you all the lovey dovey meanign behind it. My whole proposal idea got pushed back to New Years.

A couple weeks before Christmas, I bought her a ring. It’s nothing huge and fancy because honestly those things are pricey and I was working minimun wage, wrapping sandwiches for a living. But though the center diamond is small, it’s white gold, real diamonds, and it sparkles beautifully. She had absolutely no clue I bought her a ring. I bought her a Harley Quinn statue for Christmas but all she knew is that I bought her something Batman related for Christmas. Now she had given me a ring the previous February, and she knows me well enough to know I’m not some fancy femme diamond girl. She got me a titanium band style ring that have “Forever Love” etched into it. I love it. She knows me so well. Anyway, we had discussed this stuff in the past and I told her that if I got her a ring it would be when I get down on one knee and asked her to marry me. Now, she was dropping hints that she wanted a ring for Christmas. Funny thing is, by the time she starting dropping these hints I already had the ring. I remember one night being on the phone with her and she was talking about how she would love a ring, and I was playing it off like “well baby, I’ll get you one one day. I wouldn’t know what kind you’d want though…” and stuff like that while actually holding the ring in my hand trying now to laugh and give it away. Now, I eventually let it slip that I got her something else for Christmas but I played it off by telling her the only way she’d get what I got her is if she answered a question correctly and she would get her two prizes (the ring and me) which I did to throw her off. Now Britney being Britney, some how came to the conclusion that this was a trivia question and was like “oh god now you have me all worried, I’m not good a trivia” which I thought was hilarious but oh so adorable so I played into that too. So all she knew was if she answered some trivia question right, she got two prizes. Now, before all this I told her we needed to have a romantic night together when I get there because we never have nights like that together, which is true. My suggestion was dinner and then go somewhere quiet under the stars together just me and her. She was totally up for that idea.

So, with that said, here’s the plan I had:

Dinner at a nice restaurant of her choice, probably something Italian due to the fact that we’re both very Italian and like Italian food.

Red Rock Canyon under the stars, she said there’s one place around there where you can kind of see the stars and the city off in the distance.

And finally, proposing. The whole saying something sweet and getting down on one knee while under the stars, you know that whole romantic thing.

Now here’s what really happened….

One thing you should know about us, is nothing we do ever goes according to plan no matter how hard we try. We’re perfectly disfunctional in the sweetest of ways.

This is how it started. I flew out to Las Vegas on December 30th, the day before New Years Eve. She had to do some things the day I got there, so our mutual best friend Marc came to pick me up. He knew about everything I had planned and was all for it. On the way to his house, we stopped at Sam’s Club so he could pick up some stuff and we ate some pizza and then went to his house. I showed him the ring and he thought it was beautiful and he was all excited about this. We hung out for a few hours before Britney showed up. When she got there, we all hung out and stuff, us being all lovey dovey of course, and after some hours I was totally starving. We had planned on this ‘romantic night’ the night I got there. And this is how it all went down….

The Dinner:

Now, as I just said, I was starving. So, I told her something along the lines of “Baby, I’m really hungry right now.” And she replied with something along the lines of “Yeah hunny, I’m pretty hungry too. Let’s go get some food. Snack wraps sound really good right now.” Yes, snack wraps as in McDonalds snack wraps. Marc told us there was a McDonalds down the street, so that’s exactly where we went. We got out snack wraps, through the drive-thru mind you, and brought them back to Marc’s house. Now at this point I was thinking “Well, either this whole proposal is getting post-poned or we’re saying fuck the nice dinner.” After we got done eating, Britney says “So, hunny let’s go have this romantic night.” I was like “But we just ate McDonalds…” She was like “Well, forget dinner. Let’s just go to Red Rock.” I was like “That works. Let’s go.” So, we went.

Red Rock Canyon:

We left Marc’s house and we started driving. Now, Marc lives in North Las Vegas, and we were driving all the way to Red Rock which was quite a bit of a drive. We’re in her pick up truck and she’s driving and I’m in the passanger seat. We drive probably 30-45 mins until we hit the desert. It got really dark out really quick. So, we’re driving and driving and then she looks to the mountain in the distance and says “I think the spot we’re looking for is right behind that mountain.” After being with this woman all these years I should have known by the key words “I think” that we were in for an adventure. We keep driving, and driving, and driving, and there’s nothing. I mean literally nothing, we’re in the middle of the desert. There and no lights, no street signs, no civilization. We get past that mountain, there’s nothing. That was the point where we came to the conclusion that we’re lost. It’s dark, and she doesn’t have the greatest eyesight, and I have eyes like a hawk so she was like “hunny, can you read any street signs?” I was like “I could if there were street signs.” So, here we are, lost in the desert just driving, and driving, and driving. Then out of nowhere, there was civilazation. She was like “Oh, thank god! I know where we are now.” And she turns the car and starts driving on an actual city street. At this point, I was like “Um… Baby… where are we going now?” And she was like “Don’t worry hunny, I have a place we can go.” I love her, so I just let it go and trusted her with this. So, we’re driving and she pulls into a parking lot of a park. This park, happened to be Desert Breeze Park, and it has very large statues of soccer balls surrounding it. Which is very ironic because my dad used to be a profession soccer player and I truly do not care for the sport, but we finally got somewhere alone.

The Proposal:

So, we’re sitting in Brit’s truck. I have the ring box in the pocket of my jacket, and I told her earlier that day when we exchaged Christmas gifts that she would find out about this whole trivia thing later when we had our ‘romantic night’, so of course as we’re sitting there she’s like “Okay! What’s my trivia question?” I was not about to propose in a car, especially after all that just went wrong. On top of it, I was so nervous. I pictured myself being so chill but I was so not chill. So, I was avoiding it for a few mins by kissing her but she was like “Hunny! I’m anxious! What’s the question!” I was like “Okay fine, but we need to get out of the car.” She was like “What? It’s cold out. Okay, fine.” So, we start walking. And I was looking for somewhere out there a bit so we could really be alone. By the way, by this point it was around midnight. So, we’re walking and I find these rocks to sit on, so I sit on this one rock and she’s sitting on my lap and we’re cuddled up to each other for a couple minutes because it’s really cold. There’s something in the distance behind us that looked like a big dumpster or something, so romantic right? But anyway, we’re sitting on this rock and she was like “Hunny, I’m cold, let’s go back to the car.” And I was like “No, don’t you want to know your trivia question?” And she was like “YES!” So, one again procrastinating due to my nerves I grab her and start kissing her as we’re both standing and her hands were cold and she shoved them in my pockets and I immediatley thought ‘OH SHIT THE RING BOX IS IN MY POCKET!’ So I put my hands in my pockets too and held her hands and she didn’t notice the ring box. So then, I looked at her and said “I love you” and she was like “I love you too. What’s wrong? You look nervous. What’s going on?” And I was like “Well, umm….” got down on one knee open the ring box and was like “will you marry me?” She looked really surprised and was like “oh my god hunny, yes” And I was had a huge smile and I gave her the ring and she put it on and it fit her perfectly and looked perfect on her hand, and I was like “now we can go to the truck” and she was kind of fanning her face and she was like “oh my god Britney, do not get emotional right now”. It was really cute. Now here’s where shit got hilarious.

After The Proposal:

When we got back to the car, there was nobody around. We were totally alone. So, what do two people in love, who just got engaged no less, do in a car late at night when no one is watching? You make love. She was wearing a skirt so she just kind of slipped everything down and I’ll spare you the details but it was fun. When we got done with that she still had her skirt kind of pulled up and her underwear next to her and she just draped her jacket across her lap and we both lit up cigarettes and were just talking about stuff like the ring, etc. While we were talking we heard these loud booming sounds. Being that it’s Vegas the night before New Years we assumed it was probably fire works, but we couldn’t see any. Now, she got done with her smoke right before me so she tossed hers out the window and grabbed her underwear with intention of putting them back on as I tossed my smoke out the window and as I did I noticed there was a car parked directly behind us with really bright head lights. I was like “What’s that?” And she was like “I don’t know” and as we turned back around there in the driver window is a cop with a flash light. Britney immediatly rolls down the window and the cop is like “What are you girls doing here?” and she was like “Uh, we were just talking…” and he was like “Alright. Well, we just got a report of gun shots around here. Did you two hear anything?” Yes, those ‘fireworks’ were actually gun shots. So, she’s describing to the officer what we heard and how long ago and stuff. Now, as I stated earlier, we’re both very Italian which is the main reason both of us talk with our hands alot. So, while Brit’s talking to him, she’s talking with her hands, one of which were still holding her pair of bright red underwear that she was going to put on before he showed up. I was thinking ‘Oh my god… We’re fucked’ As the officer turned to point his flash light in the direction of the gunshots, Brit realized she was holding the underwear and threw them to the floor in a panic. After that, the officer was like “You girls should get out of here. It’s late, and it’s not safe for you guys to be out here” So she was like “We were just leaving any way” and he got in his car and Brit was like “fuck the underwear, we’re leaving now” and we pulled out of the parking lot to see about six cop cars going flying. We then pulled into some residential side street for her to put her underwear back on. And we just started busting up laughing. We were laughing about it the whole way back to Marc’s house.

And that’s what happened. That’s my engagement story. It so did not go as planned, but it’s nothing short of memorable. That’s true love there. Going through all of that and still loving each other in the end and having something to laugh about. Most of our memories are hilarious but that’s definitely at the top of the list.

And Brit, if you happen to go on my Tumblr page and you see this. I had to share this. It’s too funny not to. I love you <3 :D lmao

Oh lord, what a night. I wish that could have all been caught on video.